The Life Lesson Meant Only For You --

 

 

                That peculiar word stood on your knee as you patronized it and tolerated its oddness. Over the years it echoed back at unpredictable times. Suddenly, you realized it was an eternal key -- that impish hider! -- and you sought it out when it would no longer come. Goaded to monomaniacal obsession, having been balked and told no, your desire magnifies. And so the imp you patronize today is the God you serve tomorrow.

                When you were truly free and responsible -- in your childhood -- and not merely an echo of that freedom and responsibility -- in your adulthood -- you were privy to hidden subtle truths that just tickled your ear, but could not be explained or even identified by the adults you sought out. You whistled a bit of nonsense as a child; it became the mystery of All in the end.

                We seek to realize our truths, but can't. Our friends kindly tell us not to fret. Secretly, they fear you will realize something that scares them; they don't want to see it so they don't let you see it. Yet wherever the teacher stands, there the students will be, for though people only learn lessons that they pay for, the teacher reminds them they've already spent here. Why do I reflect worse from your eyes than from your praise, my seeming friends? What is it I stand for that you would disown, and what made me the teacher of you or anybody?

                And so I am alone. When everyone leaves you, Ama remains. When everyone blames you, Ama approves. When you stand by yourself, you stand with the all. There are truths you can approach only in loneliness, deep important truths, that are dissolved by the presence of others. Remembering who you are, who you really are, is not something anybody can teach you, but is something everybody will inevitably hide from you, not even meaning to, because they see you in terms of themselves, and yet they have not really known even themselves. They obscure everything you say and do. When you see gleams of light, they will most strongly warn you of your blindness, when you hear the music of the spheres, they warn you of madness. For this reason, the deepest truth, the face of Ama, your own original face, can only be approached in that mirror that is the womb of your innermost being; and when you go there, you are alone and you are not alone. You are enveloped in self. You feel you have been reminded of something you knew long ago, knew all along; you see that all the truth the world said really was truth, and yet had a different sense than others supposed. You are told secrets by Ama meant only for you, that have never been uttered or conceived in the entire universe; and what's more, your innermost divine emanates secrets and gifts she herself never guessed at, but graciously receives.

                The universities will teach you tricks of wit. Profound wisdom comes from no classroom. Intimacy is the place of wisdom.

 

\ ~@M@~ /

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