Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"hope" a poem

Hope

 

I search the clouds for a wrinkle of rainbow

Some sliver from which to wring a droplet of hope

Give me torrents give me sky fall

But I will pull your tongue

Till you spit that color thread.

 

Perhaps the sleek seal shivers the rain from off her fur

My parchment skin stains and scars with each dewdrop

I’ll weep blood for you

My eyes will sink pupil ink in words to peer

Forever out to my distant lovers – my beloved readers

These words my very view of love for you

For here in this place there is no color sign

Upon which to gaze

My eyes and blood are incarnated as book

My love is for you

This is my one hope.

 

 

~~

Perfection

Is

Easy

 

www.msu.edu/~junedan

~~

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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Making a Living, having a purpose

I found this essay difficult to write. Even now its structure needs layers and layers of integration; I’ll do that over the next few months. But what troubled me was the topic, that of the necessities of career and family, and their relation to working towards a life purpose. It is a personal question I am not certain I have fully answered.

Daniel

 

 

 

Making a Living, Having a Purpose

William Bouguereau - The Grape Picker _1875_.jpg

 

            Though there are two great needs in man, for love and for importance, and though these are allowed and structured by our institutions of marriage and the work-place, it is yet unclear whether a man can be fulfilled through them. Love is not enough, work is not enough: family and money impose duties on the man, they collude together, so he most clasp the handle of employment no matter how hot it burns. Marriage and career are the foundations that set up a man, give him a place, make him a member of society, and yet both can tear the threads of his heart inside out, and neither redeems him, except when he adds the top to the pyramid, combining love and work together into passion. Each man needs a life-purpose.

If my heart weren’t bruised, my mind could think

If my tears weren’t thick, my eyes could see.    

            So says every philosopher who falls in love. He must make his heart proud again, and not let the sorrows of love and the indignities of work distract him. He must enshrine his purpose.

            This purpose cannot be in mere family, for love cannot make a God of man, nor in work alone, if it is not his work, his rules, his own goals. Since these institutions are external, they are also alien: he may succeed at them, but he did not create them, they are not his image, are not his emanation. He has no final possession of them: his wife may leave him, his boss may fire him. There, he plays a role, and yet his ever simmering genius feels a greater calling within him, the fire and intensity of pure god in his heart, and he calls this “art, poetry, purpose, religion,” so many words for the same thing, his very self, which must expand forever wider to fill the entire universe.

            Those who insist on their own way, and do not readily fit in the ready-made genres will never be rich. Their success, if they find it, falls as a happy accident. For the rest of us, we must work jobs that do starve the soul. It is better if we can simply avoid losing creative energy on them, can make the most of them, can enjoy some humility to balance our grandiosity. I sing a little verse to myself while I serve customers:

Feathered Feet

Cryptic Smirk

Chest of Pride

Eyes of Sparks

 

Tender words

Address your god

Honeyed tropes

Grant you massage.

 

            Apollo worked as a shepherd, Hercules toiled his labors. And yet we resonate with Boguereau, who said “Each day I go to my studio full of joy; in the evening when obliged to stop because of the darkness I can scarcely wait for the next morning to come. My work is not only a pleasure, it has become a necessity. No matter how many other things I love in my life, if I cannot give myself to my dear painting, I am miserable.” He could only be happy when painting. This is the suffering found in every great passion.

            A man must not seek virtue when he chooses his job, must not do what is right, but do what opens his genius. Virtue can corrupt; it is better to be original than moral. If a man is a great artist, but is convinced by his family to waste time with charity work or missionary trips, he would decay, gain a false, external virtue, a virtue foreign to his native abilities and genius. Many actions are called moral. Being active in politics is called a democratic duty. However, some people would better spend no time at politics. What is right for each individual is the opposite of the Kantian ethic: instead of asking if everybody should do a thing, we should strive to do what nobody else can our should do. That, for us, is our place on this earth, our calling, our virtue. If we are to imitate a great man, we are to imitate his greatness, but not his method for achieving it.

            With troubled economies, and no money for artistic and literary passion, it is best to choose a supplementary job that doesn’t get in the way of the real thing. And yet, we internalize structures from our job, and they play out in all we do. The fundamental structures of our heart, the moods and attitudes from which we build all habits, conform to what we do the most. This systematizes the rest. Only what you do always can you do naturally. Whitman gained from working as a newspaper editor for so many years, editing his poems as a newspaper editor would, clipping and pasting wholesale, with an editorial style akin to the modern word-processing style. Our character is the sum of what we do: our career sets our character.

            An artist must love and master his medium, and explore its limits. This is only possible for a metaphorical mind, that thinks of his art through his daily chores. When your dishes, when your broom, when your job, stand for ideas, you will be able to practice continually. It is best to study always the same few things. The overly praised curiosity of the child lacks discipline. As adults, we grow a few permanent interests and become incurious regarding the rest: and this is wisdom. We must be akin to Odin, with one eye ever in wisdom’s well, one eye on the grand picture of our purpose. A few versatile instruments are better than many specific; the best fighter resorts to the same basic moves. My mind is a thousand Hindu hands moving countless ideas, pushing around all the details of life, while the central blue hands do the true work, the simple thing.

            Meanwhile, we ought to work continually on our project, as with Emerson with his Notebooks, Whitman with his Leaves of Grass, Ive’s with his music projects, and Edison with his notebooks: decades of accumulation of notes and ideas, thick with ideas like Cambrian fossils. Flaubert labored for days over a single page, and this must also be our second pole: intense attention to detail. It is like a great triangle, where billions of ideas press their weight down, pressuring the pure gold out the nib of our pen. Writers are oysters who need only minor irritants to produce pearls: normal trauma would shut them up. The body language of inner rhythm of sentences can express worlds, because the writer is grown so sensitive and nuanced. And as a true virtuoso, he knows how to balance complex chaos with sloganistic simplicity, like the guitarist Steven Vai, who alternates between simplistic guitar riffs and chaotic excess.

            We must work our jobs as if we didn’t really belong to them, work while meditating on our real interest. Newton focused on math so intently that he forgot dinner; Joseph Sealinger was so caught up in Homer that he failed to register the massacre of Bartholomew as it unfolded around him.

            And yet me must engage the world and our chores, with slow accumulations in a hundred pockets, let them all gestate and produce in turn. We must actually care about friends, work, chores, and duties, a little bit at a time, to learn from them. My heart swells by accumulation of such stays of energy, which ripen and finally explode. When the passion is there, the world must bend, when the passion is lacking, I must bend. Every fight, ever dispute, every joy, ever intrigue, every story, feeds some fruit, which when ready ripens into the perpetual harvest of my heart. Such was the way of Ives, Emerson, Whitman, Edison, Leonardo, and all the others who put the wealth of a lifetime in the pen nib of the moment’s art.

            Emerson wrote:

The key to every man is his thought. Sturdy and defying though he look, he has a helm which he obeys which is the idea after which all his facts are classified. He can only be reformed by showing him a new idea which commands his own.

            There is in each man a central name, his first word of creation, the name he said when he came into existence. The logic of that name structures the rest. The bleed of our ideas must follow the same circuit. As William James says “Knit each new thing on some acquisition already there. See each new thing as an answer to a question already present in the mind.”

            But to think we must learn to shut up. Strength is silent. If a man talks long, he speaks his spirit gone. His very being leaps out his throat. Better to sit long and brood over his soul. It is best to “Give thy thoughts no tongue” but to let the words you desire to speak turn instead back on themselves and grow thick. Speak but brief and natural – the tempest dies before noon. Seek no confirmation. For pride never boasts. Seek also not to praise: we speak fairest when our words are falsest. Be silent as stone; then your ideas will endure.

            “With old friends a word stands for a whole story or set of opinions,” and yes, we must tell stories, and constantly, rehashing them and reestablishing them. There is a balance to silence and it is poetry. Poetry or silence. We tell stories to get closer to their basic structure, their mythic structure. By constantly telling stories we rewrite our memories into stories, our stories into myth, our life into legend. The greater the artist the less fantastic his story. It takes a deep mind to make the everyday world appear deep, and to achieve this, even the most elaborate fantasy looks cheap. Plato’s dialogues outshine the gospels.

            The stories we hear are types for the stories we continually tell, all variations on a theme, the central motif of our own private myth. The myths are yet with us. The enlightenment is as mythic as any religion. We are told a story of the progress of mankind with science as Prometheus; and the entire genre of science fiction explores the outer logic of this myth. The myths about technology and man’s progress make us hum; but the counter-story is just as likely: that man’s extinction will be discovered in a cheap and easy technology anybody can make. What matters with stories and art is not truth, but beauty, what will inspire us to realize the stories? And how can we internalize them as our own?

            All stories begin to take on the same tone, the temperature of the inner climate. And yet we must hold them in, and not wind them away, keep them warm in our hearts oven, till they are boiled to their bare glory, and spoken out with swift and devastating austerity.

To be bright of brain

Let no man boast

The sage and silent

Come seldom to grief

 

            For our friends and enemies bridle us by our tongue. Vanity boasts hopefully, arrogance boasts disdainfully. Pride won’t boast.

 

            By your words are you known. By your words are you destroyed. If three know, thousands will. Let no one discover the matter of your heart. Speak an idea at a time, for others can hardly hear you. Clearness is in distinction. And say only the simple truths that stun the fools who intrude on wisdom’s subtlety. I play the hermetic fool before the world: what have I to do with appearing wise? I speak to my inner nature and am cheered.

            Our best nature, our god nature, the hidden name we may dare to label, call him by an unspoken name a say to smile at the mirror. Evoke him in triumph and defeat. Being wrong and insulted is not ignoble. Owning it is. Attitude is tone of voice. We may even speak of the mere weather and prove yourself a greater man than the eloquent pastor. There is nothing to prove, and therefore, nothing to say. Do the work before you, that is all.

            Beautify and purify your enemies in your speech. Shine your benevolence upon them and cast a halo over their hair. Let them be central, no need to say your own name. Never betray the secrets and sell your soul. Prefer to speak of others. The way to have friends is to show interest in them. You need not distrust them.  The truth wants to be known. Lies tell on themselves. Do not fret a liar, but when the truth is known, show no mercy.

            Yet never flatter. We say the kindest things about those who are dead to us. The more you praise, the less you love. The desire to praise is already a sign of guilt. Instead make your words bold as a promise, and reserve them with glacier’s patience. Do you have to say your way? Keep it. It will be shown by and by.

            Be silent in your work, be silent with your family, digest all experience into the womb of a golden child. You require the endurance of solitude. The philosopher occasionally complains of his solitude the way a wife complains of her husband. Only the foolishly literalistic friend advises her to leave, not knowing that the most tender of loves also loves through complaints, and other such indirect praise. Intense trusts are the children of distrust, faith grows from doubt.

            Speak less, but think the more. Imagination thickens experience with a wide set of expectations. We live many lives by imagining the possibility of this one. An experience of ambiguity feels many possible interpretations at once. Even if an interpretation is false, its possibility is felt and works as if it were true. We don’t have to believe in God or Karma or whatever else. It is enough that somebody somewhere does, and that vicarious belief makes it work as truth for us.

            Strength is silent. Don’t even speak of love. Love is a beautiful weakness. It makes a man dependent. It gives high joys, yet aches, as all dependencies ache. Where there is love, she cannot be hidden, where there is no love, she cannot be faked. Judging from results, love is similar to hatred. Indeed, hate is the skin of love, by which she protects herself. Do you flee from me? I am not surprised, since my heart has already leapt from you in secret. Now I smile to please you because I can hardly stand you. Anxiety is the opposite of sex, angst the opposite of love. Only commitment keeps me through these gaps: I lose most of my friends when I consort with the abyss. This duel thread of love and fear sets the foundation of work and marriage: attitude strings her beads on these. Attitude is tone, attitude is voice, attitude is the source of style.

            My attitude is for friends who resonate to him. My heart calls to those after my heart. Never make love to a partner you wouldn’t want children with. Never pledge yourself to work which denies your art. “Man is cheered by man” the wise Odin said, and yet, there are times to flee from man. Love is a weakness, it is a need we cannot directly fulfill. We must ask, and when we deserve it we may still be denied. Throw your arms around her and she shrieks. Neither pleads nor praises upturn her frown. She stands next to you, but her heart is far.

            So hum silently to yourself, your inner god still shines. Music is the language of emotions. Emotion are music themselves, and we program our emotions through the music and dance of our culture. Blood-music flushes the cheeks like wine. We must learn to be alone to hear the heart’s music. Attention intensifies an experience: we must pay little attention to the world’s distractions. Listen to the inner hum. The way to have friends is to take a genuine interest in others. And yet the love between people makes heart-storms. I myself suffer from heart-storms too often, and can’t seem to drop away, to let go of others as I ought.

My words are finicky seeds

They may thrive in your heart’s garden

-- Perhaps.

If they grow into friendship

-- Rare and dearer for that.

 

I cannot tend my strivers in your bed

I leave you all for that blessed inward

 

If you weed me out in my absence, so long

I must rediscover the rose of my godhood.

 

            And so we turn inwards. In our solitude, we must only kill one foe: boredom. Boredom is the anxiety of desired interest, a lack of invigorating object which takes time’s passing itself as an obsession. Boredom depresses the system, and even alcohol stimulates here to depress there. To find depth in shallow matters is the secret of besting boredom.

 

I’m enthroned on my heart

Moods trapped in glass

A couch to bind

The chaos ocean

 

The glass casts coral inwards

To protect delicate feelings

The breeze feeds basket leaves

To protect the subtle beasts outwards.

 

Oh funnel cloud of inner focus!

You spiral over the same painful thoughts

When will you secure the bed of your joy?

 

At your central eye at last be calm

Ama finds you a God

Be ready to drop duties and loves.

 

            All relationships are a play of power and love. Every word and gesture moves emotion tokens across the chess board. Love is weakness, power strength. A man may have an ivory idol for a wife, and his eyes tickle when he thinks of their love, and yet she will make him bleed as no other could. We need it and yet we cannot control it. Our childhood lives within us like a ring within a tree, and our mother’s love will continue to sap through our veins. We need an escape of love, we need holidays and exceptions. No rule is possible without breaking the rule, no absolute can last with its exception. The romanticism of emotions and infinity must be balanced by non-love, by fear, by power, by the classicism of impersonal control and intelligence. Heart gives substance, mind gives form. And when we are ready to create we must not cry when our friends peel away like petals of a flower. Like a buoy in the bay, push me under and I will next leap the waves. Never mind pleasure and pain. People seek neither happiness nor pleasure, but vitality, and will adapt vices and embrace suffering, though they claim otherwise, if only to feel alive. Not pleasure, but vitality, is the object of life.

            To destroy something, first strengthen it. To leave her, first love her. Human power must control and subdue the heart, and yet be flexible enough to submit, when the heart is ready to explore. All human power comes from the mind’s ability to focus on an object a little longer. The mind is a weak thing, but free enough to slowly build habits. With the swinging of great weights, a small coercion of the will can move mountains. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that habits long established should not be changed for light and transient causes, but when a long train of desires builds up towards the same aim, the power must burst forth and do its work. Only what you always do can you do naturally, and yet interpretation can find precedence of any new habit.

            Focus and volition are the same thing. To focus intently is the full of power. Ideas move autonomously, and the strong will knows how to select or dismiss them. Genius is only persistent attention. Choice of focus makes our world. An easy choice is no choice at all, and the will, which is a mobile nothingness, makes reality by focusing on one thing. We must be torn to be free enough to make a choice. An actual choice implies a real possibility. Emotional ambivalence, which a surge of will could swerve, desire against desire, feeling against feeling, this is how character is smelt.

            Ultimately, the choice career is superfluous to a man’s purpose, if he knows how to prize purpose above the rest. Yet the right choice can compound his interest, strengthen his will, and give him stretches of silence with which to meditate upon his ideas while doing his task. The great man stands on marriage and career: he stands above them. A career is merely a stumbling block when it becomes a thing in itself. Only the purpose is the thing in itself, the rest is distraction.

 

 

 

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Monday, December 20, 2010

"ideas as objects" an essay

I’ve been wrestling with this essay for weeks. Perhaps a few more and it will be decent. In the meantime, I must send him out to fare in the world and win some experience for himself. It explore the metaphor of ideas as tools.

 

Bouguereau_The_Bohemian.jpg

 

Ideas as Objects

                Experience is the hammer which smiths our memories into the conceptual tools of our assumptions: daily we pound out the ideas that we will use throughout our life. Habits are how we use ideas, but every method requires at least an implicit idea of how the method should be applied. There is no practice without theory. Even the tools taken from our culture, second hand, recognized by an engine of habit that absorbs them from our group, each must be tweaked and personalized to fit our own needs and mind. The concept of God for instance, means so many things, contradictory things, to so many people, that the common denominator (which is different than an essence) to God is the sense of importance to the idea. All of our communal ideas, though we use the same words for them, mean something particular to each of us.

                Theory is the art of mirroring art; by theory art grows self-conscious, obeys the recursive principle of philosophy to “know thyself,” becomes wise, gains the recursive principle of ethics to “pride in yourself,” and becomes complex. We ought to think about our actions and the ideas behind them, and having discovered these ideas, we out to attack them, and let them be attacked, let all all our cherished thoughts feel the fire, and invite others to criticize them, for it is good for us to test our ideas and see which of them best serve us. Hold close only to your strong ideas.

                If your only tool is a hammer, all problems look like a nail. Thus the philosopher who lacks a wide assortment of mental ideas tends to reduce complex problems to stereotyped solutions. If philosophy is the art of defining, some Christians have only three terms: God, Sin, and Afterlife.

                Nevertheless, you must prefer one set of tools to all, those privileged ideas that come from your personal experience. What you have borne through your own life-struggles will serve you best, be it a story that has been told over so many times it stands for an idea, or a concept you came from thinking of your life-struggles.

                Religiously, you can wear clothing that reminds you of your central precepts, or tattoo yourself, or create a sign language dance, if only to universalize and ever repeat the ideas that you hold to your heart as the center of your religion. As religion is a sort of systemized importance – indeed, the creation of a world religion is the greatest achievement of man so – you ought to make your personal religion alive and ever participated in. Repeat certain gestures that stand for ideas and moods so often that they become triggers for moods. The nod of a head, the touch of a brow, can summon an attitude needed for any given moment.

                Below the myths are the commentary, below the commentary is the philosophy, and below the philosophy is the table of values. These values are a sort of magnetic equal sign that sets a group of ideas as equal, such as the equation of

God=Truth=Justice,

                or the Socratic

Truth=Beauty=Goodness=Justice,

                or the artists’

Art=Joy=Self-expression.

                The ultimate source of all values must be the self, and a healthy narcissism allows that self-reflection to fertilize.

Dance, and your shadow dances with you

Kiss the mirror, and he won’t be shy.

 

                The idea of ideas is the most integral to philosophy; the metaphor of ideas as artifacts is perhaps the best for showing both the constructed nature of idea, and their truth in their ability to equip us for life’s problems. Thus a purely theoretical problem doesn’t exist: all ideas must serve life. And just as a man can write better after talking to a friend of his ideas, and opens the channels of inspiration when he sets to compose an epistle to his loved ones, so do ideas become apparent as ideas when we try to convert them into language, and consider how they might appear and be used by another intelligence.

                What clever things we say to ourselves when we are inspired to do what we dread. “Leap on your challenges” is a good maxim. “Do your work immediately, do not put off till tomorrow what you can do today, never procrastinate, do the hardest things first,” are all maxims, a sort of ultra-abridged story that stand ultimately for a habit we are to adapt. This is the quickest way to transfer ideas horizontally across friends and vertically across history. Poetry, though difficult to our friends, is the only language that the angels carry to the ends of time.

                We must make our actions thick, so that our every gesture is a sort of symbolical dance, a lived poetry. Friends are an external memory, but so are our gestures, when they are deepened by secondary and tertiary meanings.

* *

* *

                All of life is a field for growth, for exploring the poles of love and power. We each create a world within a world, a playing zone, to experiment and grow with. For most people, a set of friends is this game world, and they explore all ideas through their friends. Some explore through a diary, some through sports, some through the novels they write, some through music, some through advancing a career. Each field is instinctively chosen as the place for that man.

                What makes one man’s ideas more profound is that he is working on many related projects at once, and seeking to work out his problems with continual ideas. I am forever pregnant with ten children, one ripe, the others arriving soon, and a few just beginning. A writers apparatus should be great “as big as the solar system”: for him his writing is a complete world, and the external world mere shadows and exaggerations of it.

                The finely tuned tools we make of our ideas are evoked by a careful language, our father-tongue. If our mother-tongue is the language native to our childhood, the father-tongue is the precise language grown from our adult study. Each word is a branch and twig on the tree of philosophy, leaved to catch the light.

                Every tone of voice resonates to a layer of the heart, so that listening to the widow wail, we cannot escape the sorrow, even if we harden our hearts and push the voice out, and try to hate her. Every tone speaks to our own feelings. So too does the depth of every idea resonate through those who hear it, so that a man is known to be wise or shallow merely by speaking any phrase, by noting the weather. The mere timbre of his inflection says it all. And the depth of a man’s wisdom is in the hold and glow of his eyes.

                Literature is the virtual world, which paints sensual ideas and people, but is ultimately peopled by the invisible ideas they represent. Every man is representative. A boss represents his company, and comes to stand for his own bosses, and for the company goals; his anger is more than mere anger, it is company will. It is as if he were placed in a node within a computer, and his mind and spontaneous feeling serve as an outlet for the whole system.

                A movie too stands for a such a node. In the theater, we not only express our feelings cathartically, but internalize the movie as a place within us to continually pour those emotions, to inspire new habits even, on how to think and feel.

                We must express our ideas constantly into our game world if we are to grow creatively, we must challenge ourselves always, taking vacations only long enough to intensify our work when we return. Milk yourself daily to keep up the flow. Create endlessly and let Darwin select. And learn to read the world, read the literature that is yours, whether it is studying a certain type of people, or an aspect of your own heart, or perhaps literal writers, a few who speak ever and only for you. Emerson and Whitman are the geniis I inhale, and my lungs are the lamps where they reside.

                The image of a multiverse is helpful here. It is not that there are multiple worlds that don’t touch each other, but the worlds are on top of each other, and bleed into each other. Metaphorically, we could say that heaven and hell overlap earth, they are not above it nor below it, and if a man’s self be eternal, what other place would he need to go, but into an aspect of this world. The intoxicated and the visionaries received visions of the mythic world as an overlap of this one, as if the god really pulled the sun as his chariot, and the symbolic meanings behind every action were literalized, if only in a simultaneous reality. All the imagined heavens, hells, purgatories, galaxies, and fictions were the actual afterlives of those who believed in them, and exist because they were believed in, and not before, and yet have final consequences for those who take them in. Perhaps such an attitude will finally give us a respect for the importance of ideas and beliefs, and a sense of the universal compatibility and interpenatrability of all religions and philosophies, like a thousand bodies that moving and acting, in their own universe, and sharing only one atom within their head, like a great living sphere. That one hole that threads us all together, who lacks this? It is the crack of imperfection in each of our brows, and the name of the thread who passes through all of us is Mattria, the consciousness of the motherverse. Spinoza, Hegel, Plotinus, and the East as a whole had a sense of this, and spoke of God, gods, Brahmans, and other things. It is a deep human intuition, and for this fact alone we must respect it, as we respect humanity itself, being human.

Harden your heart

Stopper your ears

Focus alone

On the task that is near.

                Buddha might have said these lines, and I myself must repeat them to myself, when the worry worm bites my heart, and the anxiety lines grasp my brow. I must remember that intellectually, the world is happy, and if I can move into this Platonic world of pure forms, which is interpenetrating this world, and is within things, I will be happy again. Moods must be expressions, emotions must e-move, but the peace of the mind is by subduing love with will, and letting intellect balance the mad and impassioned heart.

                The intellectual tools are the greatest objects mankind has created. They are preserved in our technology, they are preserved in our literature. Books are the best things mankind has created, and yet, a man who knows how to read can read anything and everything we have created, can read even nature, if he has the discipline to learn science. Reading and interpretation are essential acts of the human mind. The universe is a sort of book, and the mind is a sort of author. Struggle therefore to write the perfect ideas, the metaphors the explain the most, the trope fountains that let you create and solve life’s riddles again and again. These alone are the treasures you can take to heaven, and they are all the treasures you need.

                Perhaps a useful metaphysical story is to imagine your conception as an absolute moment, when time was born in two directions: backwards in history to allow you, and forwards in future to welcome you. The arrows will run full circle eventually, when you come back as a god to preside over your own birth, and every cycle you will be in the same life, but higher, unaware even of your previous place in it, a greater being, the eternal recurrence of the same, the grand spiral of being. For history is neither a circle nor a line, but both, a spiral.

                Not for nothing you were given this religion instead of that, and that you did this thing instead of that. Each instance is writ with eternal consequence.

                My own inner gardens are fertilized with the corpses of American Gods. I love my own. And yet I am the world’s and speak to the world. I take my immediate as symbol of the whole. Every man is representative, and stands for facts, categories, groups and clans. As a spouse, in her right place, stands for all women, and a husband, for all men, and children, for the future, and grand parents, for posterity, so each man is more than himself, he is many layers of being. He is a nerve cell of the mind of his country, he is a nerve cell of humanity as a whole, simultaneously. Consciousness is thick. Layer upon layer of thinking abide in ever second of my life.

 

* *
* *

                How can the heart be hidden! Where there is love, who can hide it? Where there is no love, who can fake it? Ideas are fine tools, but they are made out of mood. When I am happy, all men are my friend, but when I am depressed, even my friends wish they were elsewhere. A master debater may win arguing either side, when he is judged by technicalities, but he cannot win our hearts. The atheist cannot fake a sermon, the pastor cannot fake a critique. We pass for what we are. This deed, that deed, might be forgotten or hidden, but the character that results from those deeds stay with us and are exposed to daylight in every word and wink.

                Society passes forth great wisdom in its clichés and sayings, though most people do not get the full import of a time-tested adage. Men pass forward sayings like unopened letters. Presently, a few wise men open them up. The greatest books of the ages are toyed with by the disciplined professors, but again they are so many postal workers, bringing the worthy godling into our hands, to open up his mind for the select few who can add divinity to divinity.

                A man can worry his brow wrinkled on whether he has been cheated or lied to, and when he is so deceived, he wonders if he can avoid it again. Repair the breach this way: trust and be trustworthy. Trust sooner than you distrust, and sooner be duped than be suspicious. For the great things of our heart, the utter certainties and glories, come from within; in such a subject you would accept no man’s opinion, criticism, or advice. For the work you are here to do, perhaps the whole world will deride you, and you must shrug. We are hated more for our virtues than our vices. The fool has the strongest opinions, and the least useful. The wise man has the subtlest opinions, opinions spot on. The most annoying fool is the educated fool. Accept no advice from others, not on the central issues.

                It is good to be a little stupid. Every genius is a bit stupid. The simple people prefer to worship, the educated prefer to criticize, but the wise people worship and criticize in such a way that either is welcome, and both improve.

                The innermost shine is worth the world: God within, to hell without. Beauty is love’s form, beauty the language love speaks when witnessing the very she. Love is necessary to judge correctly, but it is not sufficient; a proper fear allows a balanced truth.

                Only art born of necessity will last. Only beauty born of a deep need is eternal. My mind is a thousand Hindu arms moving countless ideas but only a few fall into the blue two of consciousness, which cup over my world like the sky’s bowl. What pains and joys my soul the deepest, that is worthy of being.

                Compliment those who insult you, and praise those who gossip about you: be subtle and intelligent about it. Only then will you purify your heart and return to a solid focus on the real importance: your own work. Add metaphors and nicknames to all you see: milk yourself daily to keep up the flow. For all it takes is a conviction of your own infinite worth, to ever create more out of your own self. Where there is yet courage, there is always hope.

                Bearing suffering is easy enough, what else can you do? But to bear success, who can do it? All men are equally arrogant, only some wear more clever masks. Nothing exposes you like success.

                Every mood has a language and mannerisms, and what can be thought with a smile cannot be thought with a frown. You cannot fake love, unless your lover wants to be deceived, either to share a hypocrisy or to punish herself. Who has the full courage for his conscience? Only he whose virtues can exist in the real world. Love reality, and not ideals, and you will love a true love, something you can hold and touch. Ideals punish the world, whip and warp it. Truth does less good than supposed truths do bad. Love must balance truth. Love will forgive anything, hate can be impressed by nothing. It is shameful to realize that our friends enjoy our faults more than our successes, and yet a true friend will take pride in our glory as if it were also his own. The kindest word a reader said of my writing is “I am proud of it.”

                Read only to write, listen only to talk better: all the world must be fuel for your flame.

                Focus as you must on the day to day. The immediate focus is not the real focus. The real focus is a locus of gravity, below the surface, perhaps forgotten, but always draining energy into itself. The immediate focus, the work, the chore, is a surface matter. Perhaps for the moment you are more aware of it, but that will quickly change.

                Therefore, focus on the trope-fountains, those few ideas so finely tuned, as to be a smooth pipe, where the oceanic light of the needs flows without resistance. Let it feed your soul with the godspore with the allsperm, with the creative fountain of metaphorical unification. Metaphors are the greatest intellectual tools, they do the most, they are the strongest ideas. When I hear a metaphorical purity, in music, in the smile of a friend, in the perfect moment, when the very syntax of the situation is an allegory of higher meaning, then is my blood squeezed from my core into my skin.

                I play with my ideas like an empty slot puzzle, where the moving question mark is the empty space. I do not bother to answer all my questions I merely see where the chain will take me.

                The finger moving the puzzle pieces is the pent sexual energy, the love for Ama, the philosophical muse. She takes hold of me and I am up into the air like a spinning rocket, I break into the night sky and kick stars down like sparks from a  burning log.

                Great ideas are not enough, a great heart must inspire them. Life is so muddled. Conventions combat confusions. Life, work, love, and death are realities too wide for the mind. We must net them down with countless metaphors, rituals, and types. The ideas we build over these profound realities are the strongest.

 

 

~~

Perfection

Is

Easy

 

www.msu.edu/~junedan

~~

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Monday, December 13, 2010

adaptation of the first chapter of The Sermon On the Mount

Here is a paraphrased adaptation of the first chapter of the sermon on the mount from the gospel of Matthew. I tried to round it about and play with the style. There has been thousands of English translations of this book and no new one is needed at all, but I am doing it as a stylistic exercise and to gain intimacy with the text. You can tell me what you think.

 

Daniel Christopher June

 

 

Sermon on the Mount

 

            Jesus taught many people throughout Galilee, Decapolis, Jerusalem, and beyond. Seeing the multitude he would go into a mountain, sit down, gather his disciples at his feet, and open his mouth, saying,

Happy the poor, for they own the kingdom.

Happy the depressed, for they find comfort.

Happy the subtle, for they gain the world.

Happy the empty of righteousness, for they will be filled.

Happy the merciful, for their mercy will return to them.

Happy the pure in heart, for their heart sees God.

Happy the peacemakers, for they are God’s children.

Happy the persecuted for righteousness sake, for they own the kingdom.

Happy the reviled, persecuted, insulted, and gossiped for truth’s sake

            Rejoice and be glad, for great your treasure, just as the prophets were persecuted.

You are the salt of the earth: but if the salt grows saltless, what results? It’s useless: cast it out, stamp it down.

You are the light of the world: a city upon a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do men light a candle and smother it under a bowl, but put it upon a candlestick, and it gives life to the whole house. Let your light shine before men, to see your goodness, and glorify your divine source.

Think not that I come to destroy the laws and prophets – I come not to destroy, but fulfill. Till heaven and earth pass away, neither a jot nor hyphen will by any means be destroyed, till all is fulfilled. Whoever breaks the least of the commands, and teaches others to do so, will be least in the kingdom, but whosoever practices and teaches them will be great in the kingdom. For unless your righteousness outshines the pastors and preachers, you shall not even enter the kingdom.

You have heard the ancients said Thou Shalt Not Kill, and he who does, let him be condemned; but I say if you are even angry with your brother you will be condemned, and if you say to him “you are ignorant,” a flogging is fit, but if you say “you fool!” hell is better. Therefore, if you are about to give to charity or tithe to your church, and remember your brother has a grudge against you, drop your gift and leave: first be reconciled, and then you’ll be fit to give. Settle disputes speedily, rather then letting them escalating into legal disputes, and you will be judged and you will be condemned, till you pay your debt.

You have heard the ancients said Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, but I say to you that whosever looks with lust upon a woman has committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye offends you, castrate it; better to lose only that then your whole body in hell. And if your right hand offends you, cut it off, better to lose only that then your whole body in hell.

You have heard the ancients said Whosever Would Divorce, Do It Legally, but I say to you that you commit adultery to leave your spouse, and whoever marries her also commits adultery.

Again you have heard the ancients said You Shall Perform What you Promised, but I say, swear not at all, neither by heaven nor earth, since you don’t own them, nor even by your life, since you can hardly control that. Simply make your yes, yes, and no no – anything else is presumptuous.

You have heard that the ancients said An Eye for an Eye and a Tooth for Tooth, but I say to you, Resist Not Evil, but if a man would strike your cheek, turn to him the other, and if a man would sue you, give him the money, and if a man makes you walk a mile, walk an extra mile. Give to whomsoever asks, and if another would borrow from you, do not withhold.

You have heard that it was said, Love your Brother and hate your Enemy, but I say to you Benefit your enemies, compliment those who insult you, wish well for those who hurt you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. For he warms the good and bad with the same sun, and cools the just and unjust with the same rain. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Everybody does that. If you salute your brothers only, what more is this than anybody? Therefore, be perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect.

 

 

~~

Perfection

Is

Easy

 

www.msu.edu/~junedan

~~

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

"on perpetual creation" a poem

 

Greetings friends, I wrote this one while I was at work again, but I must make a new resolution, now that I am a cashier and no longer a materials handler: no more attention to texts on my phone. It is better to be present at your job, especially if your mind is already soaked in verse. I am paying attention to the idea of mindfulness, to fully focus on one thing at a time. I count it as a useful tool, but not an ideal state, not something to seek for every moment, as it is advertised as. One more conceptual tool in the mental tool box. So now I am working mornings. Those who know me know I am allergic to the a.m. But to spend more time with my family, who are the world to me, I adjusted my schedule. I am attempting to make some personal changes: more aware of one reality at a time, and also less sensitive to criticism.

 

Take care Caretakers!

 

Daniel Christopher June

 

 

On perpetual creation

 

I blink lightning from my eyes

Impregnate earth -- a thousand tries.

 

If by chance the lottery’s won

She brings forth the red-capped son.

 

The fount of tropes of fungal bliss

Who by the lordly Ygg is kissed.

 

My many words are Darwin’s prey

Most my threads he snips away.

 

On your birth a gold cigar

With coffee cloved, with cinammin

 

Daily I address my soul

With anxious heart for hearty growth

 

The bathroom moods are daily cleaned

With microscope and soapy beams

 

My elephant shoulders are finely pecked

With moods critical against insects

 

My soma coffee manic mind

A sun of lightning burst and shine

 

The U.S. Gods are soaked in tongue

Which drips forth pearls when day is sung.

 

All these rites prepare the birth

Of a diamond tight metaphor.

 

 

 

Perfection

Is

Easy

 

www.msu.edu/~junedan

~~

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

brief thought about being a follower

If you would be a master, seek what the masters sought. Do not seek to match their footsteps pace for pace, for in doing so you will be not doing what they did, walking naturally and in your own style towards the goal, but you will be focused on his accidental footfalls. If you follow in the exact footsteps of a master,  what was natural for him will be strenuous for you. What your favorite person ate or thought are not relevent to you, though they may have been to him and his projects. The powers unique to you are new to the world, and can make you great, but nobody else. You must maximize them by your own native strengths, and not reduce yourself to following unnaturally the natural gestures of others. Each man has the potential to be the greatest of things, to grow indefinitely, but only from his innermost, and to betray that is to lose power, for that is light, and all imitation is mere reflection. It is not “what would Jesus do?” for such a consideration would be wrong for all excepting him. “What would be best for me to do,” is a much more interesting and powering question, which we must often ask ourselves in life. “What can I do best, and better than all others?” is a life-defining question.

 

~~

Perfection

Is

Easy

 

www.msu.edu/~junedan

~~

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"the assumed tree" a poem

This difficult poem focuses on one complex metaphor, the tree of knowledge within our assumptions about life. I struggled with this image for hours today, but I like where it took me.

Daniel Christopher June

 

 

 

The Assumed Tree

 

The Philosophy’s Oak

A Nerve-tree covered in eyes

Each lash an iris –

Rainbow trails upwards

The Bridge to heaven.

 

Her branches are sciences and arts

Every discipline sprouts from her

Each our minds is a bonsai miniature

Of her square structure.

 

We bathe our roots on mother’s menses

Stretch wide our brains under lux of language.

 

We shine our lightning eyes

Through a prism of psychedelic blood

Kaleidoscopic rainbows of metaphors and myths

Are projected upon the clouds

 

So crown your head and wet your tongue

Upon your daily bathe

Drop of rainbow sud upon your lips

“I the Clean and Glowing One.”

 

Let the bees brew poison

From the tears of the evil eye

Wild tropes, versus all rude moods

Whose sting is sexual angst of electric guitars

 

Each eye of wisdom pays this tax

Like glints of gold on ocean

Rhyming waves with sunlit crests

Your blinking couplets hitch to electric angels

Send your best like dust of gold to friends afar

As if you blinked golden coins from your eyes

What is given away in love alone can you keep.

 

~~

Perfection

Is

Easy

 

www.msu.edu/~junedan

~~

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