Thursday, April 9, 2009

shakers and mormons

File:Shakers Dancing.jpg



                The Shakers wrote better, lived better, looked better, were in every way superior to the lamentable Mormons. They lacked two Mormon virtues:

1) begetting as many children as humanly possible

2) spending an obligatroy few years of your life evangelizing door to door or by any and every method known to man.

                The Mormons are evangelical because they have shit for product. Consider this: who spams you the most? Any business with dignity.

                As for 1) the Shakers were more serious about abstinence than the Mormons were about polygamy (the mormons are weak) and so they really did have no children, and thus they didn’t double the religion with each generation. A growth of the religion by conversions only. For it doesn’t matter what you are – Mormon, Jew, Atheist, Catholic: if your parents raised you, you will believe as they believe, with not too many exceptions.

                It should be a moral imperative for all people to reject the religion of their parents at age 21.

                As for 2) The Shakers didn’t need to be knocking on doors. They were hardly evangelical. People just flooded in, gave up sex and parenting all together – how strange!

                Final results:

                Mormonism is among the fastest growing religons along with Pentacostalism and Islam.

                Shakers boast of a mere 4 members nowadays.

                For all the lovers of the sublime out there: shake and shiver.

                Mormonism might become the official religion of Rome one day!


16. Heaven or hell is first formed within every individual soul; then the law of affinity draws together, in the spirit-world, those whose states are homogeneous, and who internally are in the same heaven or hell, who happify or torment each other, as the case may be.


(from the writings of the Shakers. Take a look!)

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