IN PRAISE OF NERO
My mother once complained about how cursed I was to have inherited my father's sense of humor. "Tim" as "biological father" is one of those topics we simply avoid on principal. She holds regret for having known the man. and I have a sense of great trauma regarding everything TIM-concerning.
I just sent Sherry to her bedroom. Nat is being impossible. My guiding principal is to let Nat figure herself out. She just woke up at 330 a.m. She is unrepenent. Stripping. Mean. Sherry is fussing SO HARD to fix it right away. Exactly that is the problem.
Nat is up at 330 a.m. having a panic attack. So let her have her panic attack. There is NOTHING we can say or do to make the fact of a 330 panic attack go away.
I'm happy. My SOMA has seen so BURDENED from getting back in the system that I could NOT read or write at 7pm, 8, 9. I had to do the stupid thing: i had to sleep all night. No Eighth Day with AMA. No studying. The 8th day is sacred. writing is sex. When I am left bereft and cheated of this:
So, I sent Sherr to her room to sleep. Nat is manic and panicking. It Is what it is. i get to wake up 4 a.m. and work out my salvation with trembling and amazement:
I'm in love with NERO.
I woke up myself awake to be awake. At 330. I went to the ARIA and grabbed a book. Burke's Counterstatement. Kenneth Burke is amazingly unamerican. Of Fuck! Natalie has stripped again. I will let her play her game. Kenneth IS a LITERARY CRITIC. Money is God here. We worship money as God. American blood is the golden backing of the American Dollar. The bottom line? Money makes the world go round. Not Love. THAT was a French conceit. Americans are ABSTRACT. Money is Blood. Money is a kind of love.
Dad Dan took personal offense when I sneered so often that "money is cheap." He and Mom did the impossible and came up from poverty class and made a lot of money and defeated the money demons and made them their bitch. Joshy is like a multi-millionare but without the garishness of the new rich. They are social climbers, and i myself never need be. Dad Tim married a Jewish thinking they are god's chosen (a joke of the worst taste) and she was rich and used him and financially raped him according to the Jewish obsession: the Jewish nose for gold. The golden calf IS Yahweh as a kid. A golden colt. An ass.
I am no longer writing a thousand poems a day. Some say I have diarrhea of the mouth. Thus does envy speak. Hey, I write pure literature the way others breathe or sneeze or drool. I write bibles and treasures that will be in print and in some form for literally the rest of all eternity. And you whine because I impose on you the expectation that you share in the wealth a bit if and when you have a second. Sorry not sorry. I am generous with my wealth. But I am TERRIBLY wealthy. Not arrogant. but worthy of to be.
I love NERO. I was reading that college drop out Kennethe Burke. Friend of Harold bloom. the GREATEST critic the nation has ever known or will know is Ezra Pound. Bloom sneered, "if you think Ezra is so profound, I dare you, I DARE YOU, to read his world war 2 psychotic rants." Okay virgil. I will. And your smoking guns? Wow. Wow! Ezra is a freaking genius. He actually SAID all this! Somebody had to. How utterly amazing. No longer are you, Bloom, my second greatest literary critic, and Kenneth number one. Ezra Pound is the GREATEST literary critic the nation will ever know. Kenneth is number two. You are number three. As you said it, so shall it be.
Fucking Nat is shrieking and whining. Which is fine. But Sherry is up making things a thousand times worse on the pretense of helping.
I AM Natalie's health. You, Sherry, are her disease.
**
I HATE open Office. I profoundly HATE the "text" document, the universal piece of shit that "ghost saves" all my documents. Fine. FINE! I will go back to paying a prescription for WORD. A week from Friday, when I get paid. Getting Office will be my FIRST order of business. I am a writer, FIRST of all. Even above husband and father. Because those roles are with the mortal parts of my immortal family. but WRITING IS SEX and when I am inspired, AMA, READING AND WRITING ARE SEX WITH YOU.
I need never make an excuse. I am MADE for this. I am made IN this.
Natalie Shrieking. Sherry being annoying as all fuck. I will have some coffee and just a sip of alcohol. A sort of micro-nuanced witch's brew.
Natalie's panic attack will NOT go away. I myself will stay awake till Nat goes to school at 730. Fuck! She's throwing shit. That DIN is too much. i hate Sherry so much during these times. When I should be cherishing her. but i resent SO HARD that I must ENDURE Sherry's limitations. My station is getting Natalie happy. You, Sherry, are the anchor on my ankle with the PRETENSE to helping when I'm treading water and staying afloat. Your sighs of longsuffering are such a fucking JOKE.'
**
I will keep writing this obsene praise for NERO. I woke up and grabbed Kenneth Burke's "counterstatment" off the shelf randomly. I hate, HATE starting new books. Like Piers Anthony "God of Tarot." this late, THIS late in the game. I have read "counterstatment," a dozen times. I will again and again read it a thousand times more. It is opening with a praise of NERO. I am of the CULT of NERO. He is the hero of the day. Instead of emperor of rome, he was leading a writers group. He died from suicide, lamenting Rome never guessed "what an ARIST dies in me." Oh, NERO, I come to praise you, never to bury you. You are immortal. You are resurrected more than petty Jesus. NERO you are with us style. Styling yourself on the violin during the din of violence of Rome mourning. NERO! I praise you still. I will finally learn Latin. I will learn the sacred tongue. English is the MOUTH OF AMA. Fine. I am born with the RIGHT of that. I will learn Latin for you. Suetonius, and for this French Fucker who Kenneth was studying:
Damn! the volume is in the other room. Reading it CAN be a blessed epiphany because I've read the whole thing a hundred times before. Piers Anthony's TAROT series truly is an imposition. But at age 89 he is finally ready to be my disciple. I will teach him to end his life writing the frightening best: SCRIPTURE PURE. That is the way I honor the pied piper who pulled my young ear into NEROs art: Literary Criticism. Greater work than the work of empire. Rome didn't decline in a day. She's declining still. I am studying TACITUS (Tah KEY tus) and his Germania, a piece of work that gave Aryan Nobles the Nazis' endless conceits. Tacitus, contemporary of NERO, praised the Germanic people as undefeated, and in principle stronger than ALL rome. but Tacitus was a WHINY MORALISTIC BITCH the way the Jewish people are as a whole.
The funniest scripture is the Chaung Tse. Praises that stand up comedian Chuang Tse. He identified the source of evil in this moralistic cows who attacked the country teaching "moral truths." he means that obscenely self-satisfied cow Confucius. Chuang said in the before times, all people were innocent and good. Then the moral teachers, the Faroah's of Pretense, the Pharisees, if you please, in Chinese conceit, taught that you must do MORE than be natural and perfect and innocent to be morally true. They sinned against god in the name of charity. They made of goodness herself no LONGER beauty. Morality is UGLY.
Chuang Tse as stand up philosopher says it better. Jesus pleases to expose Jewish GROSSNESS in his sermon on the mount, where, incidentally, matters are NEVER addressed from a higher superior point of view.
He says, "If you Jews love your own family, how are you morally better than the goyim. Even tax collectors love their own. But you Jews, to be JUSTIFED as being "chosen" wish to outcompete the goyim, (world, the nonchosen, humanity, man without his penis mutilated, ADAM proper, or mankind) then you must do better than them and LOVE YOUR ENEMY. Only then will you Jews be paid in gold. For prostitution. For loving your enemy. I am prostituting you to "love your enemy," and I am paying you in gold.
the Odyssey is the greatest story ever told. The gospel of Mark, remarkably anxious and full of HATE delusions of end of the world is not even good as literature. Spurn it. The imposition of that LIE as "the greatest story ever told." No, but this is true in its place: Jesus Died for his own sins. Jesus will be crucified afresh and ALWAYS for the lie and conceit of being a moral teacher when he in fact deserved no better than for the romans to spit in his face and say, "prophesy, you fool and false teacher. Who hit you?" The answer to the question? Yahweh. Yahweh punches you in the eye. And he always shall.
I come not to bury NERO. He is resurrected. I come to praise him. By learning Latin yes. And a bunch else.
My NOTES now shall I style, For Love of NERO.
**
Nat is whining in her HIDEOUS way. Sherry I openly hate. I very much do HATE the weakness of Sherry. Natalie and I suffer on your pretenses. You have the audcity to want to be praised in the name of your ugliest conceits. Your weaknesses I will never praise. I will HATE YOU TO YOUR FACE on this, Sherry.
Consider my hate of christiainity. I love NERO. I hate Jesus the fucking Christ. He deserves ALL he gets. That horrible final book of the Bible, the apolypse of John, ends in a two part curse: whoeer adds to this book I am writing, so be added all the obsense curses I've been adding up all day. And he who takes away from this book, I take away the piddling piece of fruit, the fruit of life.
Yes, John? Get fucked! You deserve the worst you described and may it forever happen to you in the most literal way possible.
Your double curse was basically a curse on the possibility of an editor. It is Yahweh's GREATEST SHAME that he switched to writing in Greek, that he mastered the tongue so fucking poorly, and ended his bestselling piece of shit book the bible in a style of koine Greek that is the worst imaginable. Thou conceited APE. This, THIS is your glory. Nero laughs in your face. As do I. Open contempt. Tough YEEHAW god. Though golden calf of cheap money. I spit in your face, eternally this:
You banished the Editor when he needed him most.
**
Counterstatment. Nietzsche regarded the French tongue as STYLE itsel.f No. Sorry to dispute you, but I have the gual to HATE the french. The greatest stylists of all time, of ALL time are the romans. One does NOT learn to write from Greece, said the greatest writer in the German language, Nietzche. One learns from Latin. So, I will learn Latin.
Greece is substance. Their FORM IS GOD. Cosmos is Beauty. Greeks WORSHIPPPED form. Took storm and went decadence and disgusting in that crow god Socrates. The man IS a disease. I hate him while I spit in his eye. But HOMER is Zeus. And Heraclitus the fragments, of which I have made a translation, they are greater than ALL world lit combined.
Rome is NOT substance. That's greek. Rome is FORM. The world IS Roman, forevermore. Their forms are NEVER in decline. The roman empire is ETERNAL. It is now. Nero Lives. His words are more bidning than Time. I do not study the fucking French for form. I study the SOURCE. Rome.
But Flaubert? Thou GOD OF STYLE. Nietzsche, the greatest prose stylist in German, said quite straightly that the greatest writer in prose in the world at the time was and is emerson. Yes. You are right. But he said, nevertheless, Study the French. Especially Floubert. Here, Kenneth is quoting the audacities of the French in that Floubert loved NERO. Well, duh. But I didn't learn that shit from the likes of you, Francophony. Frog. I hate you. I hate you to yourself. I learn Latin Next. France is too weak to know or love.
What a Great Artist Dies in Me!
I am the Great Dictator!
I will listen to Spacehog's "The Great Dictator." Nero, I choose thee!
My mother once complained about how cursed I was to have inherited my father's sense of humor. "Tim" as "biological father" is one of those topics we simply avoid on principal. She holds regret for having known the man. and I have a sense of great trauma regarding everything TIM-concerning.
I just sent Sherry to her bedroom. Nat is being impossible. My guiding principal is to let Nat figure herself out. She just woke up at 330 a.m. She is unrepenent. Stripping. Mean. Sherry is fussing SO HARD to fix it right away. Exactly that is the problem.
Nat is up at 330 a.m. having a panic attack. So let her have her panic attack. There is NOTHING we can say or do to make the fact of a 330 panic attack go away.
I'm happy. My SOMA has seen so BURDENED from getting back in the system that I could NOT read or write at 7pm, 8, 9. I had to do the stupid thing: i had to sleep all night. No Eighth Day with AMA. No studying. The 8th day is sacred. writing is sex. When I am left bereft and cheated of this:
So, I sent Sherr to her room to sleep. Nat is manic and panicking. It Is what it is. i get to wake up 4 a.m. and work out my salvation with trembling and amazement:
I'm in love with NERO.
I woke up myself awake to be awake. At 330. I went to the ARIA and grabbed a book. Burke's Counterstatement. Kenneth Burke is amazingly unamerican. Of Fuck! Natalie has stripped again. I will let her play her game. Kenneth IS a LITERARY CRITIC. Money is God here. We worship money as God. American blood is the golden backing of the American Dollar. The bottom line? Money makes the world go round. Not Love. THAT was a French conceit. Americans are ABSTRACT. Money is Blood. Money is a kind of love.
Dad Dan took personal offense when I sneered so often that "money is cheap." He and Mom did the impossible and came up from poverty class and made a lot of money and defeated the money demons and made them their bitch. Joshy is like a multi-millionare but without the garishness of the new rich. They are social climbers, and i myself never need be. Dad Tim married a Jewish thinking they are god's chosen (a joke of the worst taste) and she was rich and used him and financially raped him according to the Jewish obsession: the Jewish nose for gold. The golden calf IS Yahweh as a kid. A golden colt. An ass.
I am no longer writing a thousand poems a day. Some say I have diarrhea of the mouth. Thus does envy speak. Hey, I write pure literature the way others breathe or sneeze or drool. I write bibles and treasures that will be in print and in some form for literally the rest of all eternity. And you whine because I impose on you the expectation that you share in the wealth a bit if and when you have a second. Sorry not sorry. I am generous with my wealth. But I am TERRIBLY wealthy. Not arrogant. but worthy of to be.
I love NERO. I was reading that college drop out Kennethe Burke. Friend of Harold bloom. the GREATEST critic the nation has ever known or will know is Ezra Pound. Bloom sneered, "if you think Ezra is so profound, I dare you, I DARE YOU, to read his world war 2 psychotic rants." Okay virgil. I will. And your smoking guns? Wow. Wow! Ezra is a freaking genius. He actually SAID all this! Somebody had to. How utterly amazing. No longer are you, Bloom, my second greatest literary critic, and Kenneth number one. Ezra Pound is the GREATEST literary critic the nation will ever know. Kenneth is number two. You are number three. As you said it, so shall it be.
Fucking Nat is shrieking and whining. Which is fine. But Sherry is up making things a thousand times worse on the pretense of helping.
I AM Natalie's health. You, Sherry, are her disease.
**
I HATE open Office. I profoundly HATE the "text" document, the universal piece of shit that "ghost saves" all my documents. Fine. FINE! I will go back to paying a prescription for WORD. A week from Friday, when I get paid. Getting Office will be my FIRST order of business. I am a writer, FIRST of all. Even above husband and father. Because those roles are with the mortal parts of my immortal family. but WRITING IS SEX and when I am inspired, AMA, READING AND WRITING ARE SEX WITH YOU.
I need never make an excuse. I am MADE for this. I am made IN this.
Natalie Shrieking. Sherry being annoying as all fuck. I will have some coffee and just a sip of alcohol. A sort of micro-nuanced witch's brew.
Natalie's panic attack will NOT go away. I myself will stay awake till Nat goes to school at 730. Fuck! She's throwing shit. That DIN is too much. i hate Sherry so much during these times. When I should be cherishing her. but i resent SO HARD that I must ENDURE Sherry's limitations. My station is getting Natalie happy. You, Sherry, are the anchor on my ankle with the PRETENSE to helping when I'm treading water and staying afloat. Your sighs of longsuffering are such a fucking JOKE.'
**
I will keep writing this obsene praise for NERO. I woke up and grabbed Kenneth Burke's "counterstatment" off the shelf randomly. I hate, HATE starting new books. Like Piers Anthony "God of Tarot." this late, THIS late in the game. I have read "counterstatment," a dozen times. I will again and again read it a thousand times more. It is opening with a praise of NERO. I am of the CULT of NERO. He is the hero of the day. Instead of emperor of rome, he was leading a writers group. He died from suicide, lamenting Rome never guessed "what an ARIST dies in me." Oh, NERO, I come to praise you, never to bury you. You are immortal. You are resurrected more than petty Jesus. NERO you are with us style. Styling yourself on the violin during the din of violence of Rome mourning. NERO! I praise you still. I will finally learn Latin. I will learn the sacred tongue. English is the MOUTH OF AMA. Fine. I am born with the RIGHT of that. I will learn Latin for you. Suetonius, and for this French Fucker who Kenneth was studying:
Damn! the volume is in the other room. Reading it CAN be a blessed epiphany because I've read the whole thing a hundred times before. Piers Anthony's TAROT series truly is an imposition. But at age 89 he is finally ready to be my disciple. I will teach him to end his life writing the frightening best: SCRIPTURE PURE. That is the way I honor the pied piper who pulled my young ear into NEROs art: Literary Criticism. Greater work than the work of empire. Rome didn't decline in a day. She's declining still. I am studying TACITUS (Tah KEY tus) and his Germania, a piece of work that gave Aryan Nobles the Nazis' endless conceits. Tacitus, contemporary of NERO, praised the Germanic people as undefeated, and in principle stronger than ALL rome. but Tacitus was a WHINY MORALISTIC BITCH the way the Jewish people are as a whole.
The funniest scripture is the Chaung Tse. Praises that stand up comedian Chuang Tse. He identified the source of evil in this moralistic cows who attacked the country teaching "moral truths." he means that obscenely self-satisfied cow Confucius. Chuang said in the before times, all people were innocent and good. Then the moral teachers, the Faroah's of Pretense, the Pharisees, if you please, in Chinese conceit, taught that you must do MORE than be natural and perfect and innocent to be morally true. They sinned against god in the name of charity. They made of goodness herself no LONGER beauty. Morality is UGLY.
Chuang Tse as stand up philosopher says it better. Jesus pleases to expose Jewish GROSSNESS in his sermon on the mount, where, incidentally, matters are NEVER addressed from a higher superior point of view.
He says, "If you Jews love your own family, how are you morally better than the goyim. Even tax collectors love their own. But you Jews, to be JUSTIFED as being "chosen" wish to outcompete the goyim, (world, the nonchosen, humanity, man without his penis mutilated, ADAM proper, or mankind) then you must do better than them and LOVE YOUR ENEMY. Only then will you Jews be paid in gold. For prostitution. For loving your enemy. I am prostituting you to "love your enemy," and I am paying you in gold.
the Odyssey is the greatest story ever told. The gospel of Mark, remarkably anxious and full of HATE delusions of end of the world is not even good as literature. Spurn it. The imposition of that LIE as "the greatest story ever told." No, but this is true in its place: Jesus Died for his own sins. Jesus will be crucified afresh and ALWAYS for the lie and conceit of being a moral teacher when he in fact deserved no better than for the romans to spit in his face and say, "prophesy, you fool and false teacher. Who hit you?" The answer to the question? Yahweh. Yahweh punches you in the eye. And he always shall.
I come not to bury NERO. He is resurrected. I come to praise him. By learning Latin yes. And a bunch else.
My NOTES now shall I style, For Love of NERO.
**
Nat is whining in her HIDEOUS way. Sherry I openly hate. I very much do HATE the weakness of Sherry. Natalie and I suffer on your pretenses. You have the audcity to want to be praised in the name of your ugliest conceits. Your weaknesses I will never praise. I will HATE YOU TO YOUR FACE on this, Sherry.
Consider my hate of christiainity. I love NERO. I hate Jesus the fucking Christ. He deserves ALL he gets. That horrible final book of the Bible, the apolypse of John, ends in a two part curse: whoeer adds to this book I am writing, so be added all the obsense curses I've been adding up all day. And he who takes away from this book, I take away the piddling piece of fruit, the fruit of life.
Yes, John? Get fucked! You deserve the worst you described and may it forever happen to you in the most literal way possible.
Your double curse was basically a curse on the possibility of an editor. It is Yahweh's GREATEST SHAME that he switched to writing in Greek, that he mastered the tongue so fucking poorly, and ended his bestselling piece of shit book the bible in a style of koine Greek that is the worst imaginable. Thou conceited APE. This, THIS is your glory. Nero laughs in your face. As do I. Open contempt. Tough YEEHAW god. Though golden calf of cheap money. I spit in your face, eternally this:
You banished the Editor when he needed him most.
**
Counterstatment. Nietzsche regarded the French tongue as STYLE itsel.f No. Sorry to dispute you, but I have the gual to HATE the french. The greatest stylists of all time, of ALL time are the romans. One does NOT learn to write from Greece, said the greatest writer in the German language, Nietzche. One learns from Latin. So, I will learn Latin.
Greece is substance. Their FORM IS GOD. Cosmos is Beauty. Greeks WORSHIPPPED form. Took storm and went decadence and disgusting in that crow god Socrates. The man IS a disease. I hate him while I spit in his eye. But HOMER is Zeus. And Heraclitus the fragments, of which I have made a translation, they are greater than ALL world lit combined.
Rome is NOT substance. That's greek. Rome is FORM. The world IS Roman, forevermore. Their forms are NEVER in decline. The roman empire is ETERNAL. It is now. Nero Lives. His words are more bidning than Time. I do not study the fucking French for form. I study the SOURCE. Rome.
But Flaubert? Thou GOD OF STYLE. Nietzsche, the greatest prose stylist in German, said quite straightly that the greatest writer in prose in the world at the time was and is emerson. Yes. You are right. But he said, nevertheless, Study the French. Especially Floubert. Here, Kenneth is quoting the audacities of the French in that Floubert loved NERO. Well, duh. But I didn't learn that shit from the likes of you, Francophony. Frog. I hate you. I hate you to yourself. I learn Latin Next. France is too weak to know or love.
What a Great Artist Dies in Me!
I am the Great Dictator!
I will listen to Spacehog's "The Great Dictator." Nero, I choose thee!
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